Multi-author, often surreal stories, written in attempts at the style and settings of Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin novels. With apologies to the memory of a great man.
Scötterdämmerung
An eery, high-pitched reply wafted over the uneasy waters: "Away an' bile yer heid!" more>>
Les Enfants Terribles
"The Sixth Form have some notion of gunnery — three broadsides in two minutes!" more>>
BG Fone Home
"I could not resist — so fine a figure — almost human. His squawks — for all the world as though he says: 'Board 'em — smoke.'" more>>
The Spy Who Came In From the Cold
"The Q is five letters away from the U," said Jack. "Now what sense does that make?" more>>
Tea and Sociopathy
"Mr Zimmermann, remember that you are a British officer. I said: remember who and where you are sir. Oh, never mind. Somebody throw a bucket of water over him." more>>
Endgame
Recently, an American PhD student turned up a previously unopened chest of papers in the Aubrey Bequest. more>>
Opera Can Be Such a Drag
With a final heave he pulled himself over the top, stood up and brushed down his skirts. Then, turning his back on the Reichenbach Falls, Bonden set off for the coast. more>>
Frigate of the Apes
"I had always thought the Captain was making game of me when he commented upon the uncanny resemblance between our midshipmen and baboons." more>>
The Rime of the Infant Mariner
His pleasure was only slightly diluted by the consideration that one quarter of his crew was an albatross. more>>
Four Weddings and a Sort of Funeral
Mr Hugo Babbington had noticed the nieces. He had the Babbington eye. more>>
The Case of the Ashgrove Elephant
"Where is Mr Trinque? Whose blood is on the carpet? Why is there a five day old dead pirate in the drawing room?" more>>
Ill Met by Moonlight
The coach entered the dark forest and Jack returned to the world of the everyday, "Would you be so kind, old Stephen, as to continue telling me of your ancestor, Vlad the Impala?" more>>
The Good, the Bad and the Pretty Ugly
High in the mizzen shrouds of the Jolie Laide, Linois was puzzled. more>>
Mostly D*ck, a Tale of Revenge
"Bigger zan a Budgie! Bigger zan a Shparrow!! Truly, a bird of ze Gods." more>>
Th'Impervious Horrors of a Lear Shore
"Perhaps you had better look into Buchan's Domestic Medicine, Matthew Dong," replied Killick darkly, "for them ain't natural urges." more>>